Tuesday, 12 July 2016

Bras. Lowering your standards to raise your spirits ... and girls.

So I realize I talk about my boobs with nauseating regularity ....... but at this point in our online relationship you may need to accept that it's not going to stop and embrace it. For me, my breast awareness mirrors my awareness and feelings about myself ....... both took a long time for me to accept, both suffered from self inflicted impossibly high expectations, both have gone south fast as I have gotten older. Pfffft. Also, I am at times both a figurative and literal BOOB.
And so I, as you all well know, have a drawer bursting with bras which make me ...... unhappy. They poke, deflate, bubble boob, cone boob, dangle boob, back boob, side boob, drop boob, uni boob, NW SE boob (I'll give you a minute on that one ......), and generally, literally and figuratively, 'let the girls down'. Sigh.
None of this is an excuse, but simply an explanation. I went to a store I will call Vancouver Hush-Hush and bought a $50 bra for the girls ... and the girls are happy-ish. Look, I WANTED to send a clear 'vote with your dollar' message that I will not support a company that makes lingerie for 8 year olds. I WANTED to hold my ground and not support a company that says it embodies the modern self actualized sexual strong woman but then creates advertising layouts which look suspiciously like the brain child of Charlie Sheen and his porn family, and runway events that appear choreographed by Hugh Hefner himself. Pfffft. I WANTED to buy into the notion that price equates quality and you get what you pay for. However, I went in and a lovely, shapely girl named 'Clinique Happy' (no, not really, she was named after a different fragrance but I'm protecting her identity) fitted me into a version of the same model of bra that has been my when-I'm-feeling-bad-about-myself-go-to for about 6 years. Of course, I had to exchange it the next day as the band width she talked me into was definitely too big and was sliding up my back (which means doooown my front) and I knew that would be the case but I was trying to be "nice" and then festered about it all night until I went back and exchanged it. She was nice about it. The girls are just happier being in the locked north and upright position with their friends the back boobs than they are heading south and dangling. Just saying.
To anyone who bore with me through this, my 8 millionth diatribe about boobies, the lesson is that sometimes you have to go with what makes you happy, sometimes you have to eschew conventional wisdom and embrace the fact that a cheaper item can and will out perform a self declared superior one, sometimes you can try to hold some semblance of moral high ground by participating in the real world and the parts of it you don't like by engaging in meaningful dialogue about the changes you want to see without actually abstaining from the industry you want to change (like a vegetarian who eats bacon). A good bra is important ladies, every girl with boobs knows it. All those bra-burning feminists of the 70s have come clean ...... few, if any, actual bras were ever burned. It turns out it was one of those seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time ideas that fizzled because A. it was a largely symbolic gesture by a woman who didn't really need her bra and threw it in the trash can at the Miss America pageant protest B. they couldn't get the flame retardant poly blend material lit before the police showed up to stop them and C.from that point on every boobied woman at a rally said "hell NO, I NEED this bra". http://www.snopes.com/history/american/burnbra.asp
So that's my latest story in my continuing bra saga. I'm still not "there". I am still conflicted. I am still battling "squish points". I am still cheap as heck. But today I'm feeling ok about myself .... well, ok-ish, because I feel like the girls will be supported and look alright and because I expressed myself, and in any self awareness journey that's a start.

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